Survive

It has been nearly a year since I last update my online journal. My deepest and sincere apology to all or probably no one because I can't think of anyone who would be interested in reading what I have to write, except for the older version of me (yes, I re-read everything I wrote when I'm reminiscing about my past).

It has been one year, one month since I made the move to Miri to start earning my own dimes. It definitely is a hard life but I'm holding on, and continuously telling myself that I can do this, especially when I'm extremely down. Not a day that goes by that I don't regret the fact that I did not beg and plead my godfather to let me stay in Melbourne and make a living. I wish he let me stay instead of telling me that it is hard to obtain Permanent Resident (PR) there basing off the fact that most of his friends' children who studied there weren't able to get it and that they've wasted a lot of money trying to get it.

I have a love-hate relationship with my job. The only time I love my job is when I'm abroad (Taiwan, Philippines, and Vietnam) because it means I'm not sitting around doing absolutely nothing. When I'm in Miri, I just sit in the office from 0900 hrs to 1700 hrs doing absolutely nothing at all. I can't tell you the number of times I think of quitting because generally, it is a waste of my time but nevertheless I've listen to daddy and stay on board. He, after all paid for my education and the least I could do is listen to him, and if he thinks this is the best road for me then it is (even though the voice in my head calls it what it is - bullshit). So yeah, at this point in my life, I'm very much unsatisfied with my job but I've to suck it all up even on days when people pull all kind of nonsensical office politics, in hopes that you look as bad as fuck. Never did understand understand the point of office politics, never will either because it is just childish and I have a lot more better things to occupy myself with.

The only joy of moving to Miri is getting to know Aunt Naomi and her families. They're God-sent and everything that I have always wish for - the close-knit relationship among families' members (not just between siblings but even cousins). Never had it but have always dream of a family like such. It is rare to find such bond between families' members especially in an era where material things are above everything else. I'm beyond thankful and grateful to Aunt Naomi for sheltering me and making me part of her family - she's as amazing as my Godfather. I do not know what I've done in my past life to deserve such beautiful people in this life. ❤ 

That sums up my survival and the fact that I've been independent (yes, I've not ask or get any pocket money from daddy) since my first paycheck.